I’ll Just Leave This Here 

I’m spending my Saturday night tonight reading while my racist redneck neighbors get arrested for ignoring noise complaints. A few hours ago one of them drunkenly hollered for fine bitches. Now I consider myself an attractive enough fella, but I figured it best to decline his invitation.

Really, though, sometimes the best nights are the ones spent in your own company. At the very least, it beats the company of alcoholic white supremacists.
  

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