So #DeadlyDecember missed its premiere date, but not from lack of effort on my part. I composed the opening tweet around ten: “The stuffed bear and the wooden man stared into each others’ glass eyes.” Then I hit “SEND.” Standard Twitter stuff, right?
Except the tweet wouldn’t send. It went straight to drafts. The Luddite in me immediately assumed my technology was rebelling against me. (Because when Skynet finally becomes self-aware, the only thing it will give a shit about is Twitter, obviously.) Then I noticed my phone wasn’t connected to its network.
Aha! Even this dumbass knows that’s a simple fix. Kindly connect, yon sainted smartphone!
Except it wouldn’t. A dreadful message popped up: NETWORK UNAVAILABLE.
Cue…I swear to God…a crack of thunder.
Wifi connections were also a bust, as a thunderstorm that, I would learn, would eventually tear off my apartment’s porch light rolled through Middle Tennessee.
It was quite the doozy, folks. Sideways rain and everything. If anything could lay the internet low for the night, it would’ve been this thing.
So #DeadlyDecember will have two tweets by way of a makeup today, then the format reverts to that previously promised. I just needed you all to know I’d made the effort.
Fair reading, fellow Tweeters.
– The Awful Writer